BBQ Supplies and Freedom Are Both Not Free. But One Is Freer Than the Other!
Posted on August 14, 2013
10 Points If You Know Which One…
Labor Day fast approaches my lovelies, and for this reason we must once more remind you that you need to have barbecues. If you don’t have barbecues, I regret to inform you that you are going to have to move to Canada, the United Arab Emirates or possibly France. Is that what you want? IS IT?
In case you are currently thinking to yourself, “Well, I don’t know, in France they get like six weeks of vacation and everybody just sits around smoking and eating decadent food all day and yet somehow they never get fat,” let me remind you that while all of that is 100% factual, unfortunately, they also hate freedom.
Therefore, if you love freedom, you have to have a barbecue. That’s how it works, by law of the transitive property. Or maybe the Pythagorean theorem? Definitely one of those.
But how can you BBQ without BBQ supplies, I ask you? With your hands? Do you want to burn your precious, freedom-loving hands? No. You need tongs and things. Things like these things you can find here: BBQ Supplies.
Go buy those things now please and make barbecues with them! If you do, I will give you the 10 points I promised you in the title of this blog post…
You are still reading. Do you not love points?
All right intrepid reader. Perhaps you require more convincing that you do actually need to have a barbecue. After all, you already have a bald eagle tattooed on your person so your dedication to freedom is pretty much established. Why bother with the grilling of meats?
I will give you exactly four reasons why.
1. Benjamin Franklin said you have to
(That’s just straight up history.)
2. It’ll make your neighbors unspeakably jealous
3. It would make my life worth living
Is that last one really not enough? I thought we were friends. All right fine. The last reason you should have a barbecue this Labor Day is because:
4. Barbecuing is fun and delicious
You already knew this! Lord I’ve never had to work so hard to convince someone that doesn’t exist to do something they probably already wanted to do. It truly is a mysterious universe.
And with that, I bid you adieu, until next week when I shall deliver unto you more magnificent deals!