Beer Glasses | FSW Weekly Deals
Posted on September 11, 2013
Greetings my little Manchurian candidates, and welcome to the latest episode of FSW Weekly Deals! What is the deal with these deals? I’m not entirely sure. Regardless, this week we are going to talk about all of the glorious drink containers that we like to put beer in, and also the glorious ways that those containers make us feel.
What kinds of containers do we like to put beer in, you wonder?
Mostly we like to put beer into beer glasses, if we know what’s good for us. And of course we know what’s good for us! Otherwise we wouldn’t be here, seeking deals on a sunny Wednesday afternoon.
Instead, we’d be looking at pictures of Miley Cyrus on Buzzfeed. And that, my friends, is the last time you will see me type the words “Miley” and “Cyrus.” Actually, that second time was the last time. Because every time you talk about M—- C—- an angel loses its wings.
And I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the angels sacrificed in the preceding sentences of this blog. Sometimes, you’ve got to take one for the team. But angels get that, so it’s coo. Now, back to beer and all of the wonderful glasses that you can drink it in, and the different ways that those glasses will make you feel.
Pint and Pub Glasses
The first way you can drink beer is in pub or pint glasses. Pint glasses come in 16 or 20 oz varieties and are very exciting if you are small:
Next. Pilsner glasses. Pilsner glasses are tall and slender and great for showing off sparkling, pretty Pilsners. They will probably make you feel a little dreamy. You might spend long hours just gazing at your glassware, and your friends might start to find you irritating. But you won’t care.
You can also drink beer out of beer mugs. Beer mugs are strong glasses to drink from, not easily broken despite lots of toasting and clinking and unruly setting down upon tables. That is why these sturdy steins inspire confidence in a drinker.
Beer Sample Glasses
Now, in case you like to hold sampling events or just offer beer samples in general, you’ll do well to keep some beer sample glasses on hand. How do beer sample glasses make a person feel? It doesn’t make much sense, but studies show that they instill a sense of disquiet. And possibly one of impending doom. But still, they serve a purpose. So you sort of just have to put up with it.
It is probably clear to you by now that I don’t know what I’m talking about. But no matter! We shall press on. Next: one of the most pleasurable ways to drink beer is in a beer goblet. It might make you feel powerful. In the mood for a little self-aggrandizing. It might even make you feel… immortal.
Lastly I would like to present to you the silliest kind of glass you can put beer in: beer boots. What is the point of these things? I have no idea. But apparently, they’ve been around since the 1800s and will therefore give you a classic, old-timey type feeling. Like this guy:
And there you have all of the beer glasses that you can put beer into that are also on sale! And with that, I bid you adieu, deal seekers! And though I may be far away, you are always in my heart. You complete me. Farewell.